Wednesday, July 04, 2012

do you know you're dreaming, flavio?

In my dreams I always go back to the house in Catia but it is never the same -it changes over time, grows rooms and even floors, or stories (it most certainly grows stories), takes on new inhabitants who sometimes reflect my current life but sometimes are just a mystery, an unknown unknown, people perhaps imagined by whatever subsystem of my brain deals with those things, or perhaps seen in passing without taking them in, who knows. Or perhaps glimpsed in another narrative, in another point in the sift space.. In the distance, fires rage on the side of the Avila mountain, lions are loose on the street and everybody cowers and looks from behind net curtains as the beasts fight to the death on the streets, ancient police cars with the sirens on look on from street corners without intervening, one able to just about make out a police officer inside the car nervously talking into an ancient corded microphone3. Our terrace roof, full of rubbish and the detritus of thirty or forty years of neglect and a parrot and a dog, has several levels and connecting passages and steps. We look at the street down there, the lions still on the loose, the policemen still locked in their car not daring to get out and face the menace, the neighbours making gestures or signals which we don't understand and which could be interpreted as a warning of a greater danger than the lions lurking unseen behind us. One of us sings songs with a guitar. Not me, this time. I'm rather concerned about what is happpening. And perhaps why I am here at all; I thought I'de sold this house and moved to London over twenty five years ago. Is Isa my sister in the house, I ask somebody. They point to some place in there, downstairs. The sky is murky and a great shadow seems to be forming behind the house. No, not that dream again, please. I need to wake up reasonably fresh tomorrow. Somebody says to me, what makes me think that this is the dream and not what I think is my waking life. I look up in the sky, a star seems to explode and its light break through the murky clouds. It has begun. Again.


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