Tuesday, November 11, 2008

awake

What a different day. The sun shines, pupils are turning up to their lessons and a few of them had even practised. So different to the doomsday weather of yesterday, the deluge, the grey, murky heavens collapsing and coming down on to the Earth as water..

Last night, however, I couldn't sleep much. I think the combination of doomsday weather, the concern about the economic -no, _my_ economic situation, and perhaps a residual bit of the sometimes harrowing book by a friend and the extremely gloomy (but exceedingly well done, esp. for an American series) Galactica, which is perhaps only incidentally sci-fi, touching on all sorts of issues of politics and philosophy, our mortality and what it is that means being human -all of these things and more have been going round my head and giving me interesting dreams of which I wake up in a sweat, with the feeling of impending doom or that my heart has stopped, or that the world is just about to end.... and shivering cold. After a while, I reflect on the dream and it is all ok, it wasn't so bad, there wasn't any evil presence in it, just the immense questions and the immense void of space that encompasses us as well, but for the moment I'm alive and ok. I just cannot go back to sleep...

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